Year Three - Grief Is Not Linear
It has been three years without Ben. I had no idea how I would be or feel at year three. But it is as if he died just months ago. The pain is still as intense. I miss him. Every. Single. Day. I have no more answers as to "why" than I did three years ago. I cry every day. There is still no listening to Garth Brooks and I skip over James Taylor's "Sweet Baby James" song when it comes on because, of course, we sang "Sweet Baby Ben". I still can't look at pictures, which makes me feel like I am forgetting so many things about him. I long for him to be at every family event, every holiday gathering, and desperately wish he could meet and hold his two new nephews and niece. Instances have come up where I feel as if I have been smacked in the face. I recently got on Facebook to see the post about the NHS Class reunion of 2012. Ben was in the video. I wasn't expecting it and it took a couple of days to recover. Dale and I ...
