Naive

This post is from my daughter in law, Disney.  As soon as I read it, I knew I needed to share it on my blog: 

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I’ve been naive. 

I don’t think I truly understood what it meant to grieve or lose someone you love. 

I’ll admit I’ve always struggled with what to say when someone’s loved one passed away. It was awkward and uncomfortable because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. Then I just figured enough time passed and they were no longer sad and things could go back to “normal”. I was uncomfortable with peoples pain. 

I told you I was naive didn’t I? The truth is nothing ever goes back to normal. When you lose someone you love the pain never goes away. Yes, you may learn how to deal with it better on the outside but on the inside you’re still hurting, still trying to figure out how to put your broken pieces back together. Except you can’t complete a puzzle when you’re missing a piece. 

I wish I knew then what I know now. That checking up on someone a year, ten years, twenty years later still matters. That doing those things wouldn’t upset them, but rather let them know you care. 

Yes, life goes on, but not for the griever. Each day is a personal reminder of what they don’t have and what they desperately want. 

I guess where I’m going with this is… don’t be afraid to ask. Don’t be afraid to serve. Don’t be afraid to check in. If you have a thought to help act on it. Learn from my naivety. 

Because I can tell you this, the life of the griever is far better when there are people to help them along the way. People there to remind them that they are aware of their pain and that they are not alone. 

Love lasts forever and that is why grief does too.