Mending the Hole

I grew up playing volleyball and fast-pitch softball.  I enjoy watching all kinds of sports (yes, even baseball on TV). When I had my four boys, I was busy taking them to games and practices.  Sports just became our life. But I always wanted to coach volleyball.  The opportunity just never presented itself.  

Last summer, Northridge High School hired a new head volleyball coach and I said “Hey, do you need a coach?”. I said it jokingly because I had given up on the dream; I really wasn’t in a place mentally or emotionally where I could take on something like coaching. When you have a child die, you are left with a giant gaping hole.  A painful hole that you know you will have for the rest of your life. Getting out of bed each morning was the hardest thing I did each day.  There was no way I could even think about coaching.

Every time I would see Mitch, the new head volleyball coach, he would ask me if I had been serious on wanting to coach.  I kept telling him no.  Finally he said to me that his sister was going to help coach the sophomores, but she had little kids and didn’t feel like she could take on coaching.  I tried to say no again, but he really wouldn’t accept it.  So on August 2nd, I stepped into the gym on the first day of tryouts.  After having played the game most of my life, I felt like a fish out of water.  I love volleyball, but suddenly I was on the other side of the court — the coaching side. 

If I could only have seen into the future! In just three short months I knew I would have said “YES!” the first time Mitch asked.  Instead of going home and sitting for hours after work (mostly spent wishing the day would end so I could go to sleep and stop feeling, thinking, and being in pain) I got to spend my afternoons and evenings with 29 amazing girls, an awesome manager, and 2 talented coaches! I looked forward to seeing the girls each day in practice. I watched them improve as players and loved seeing their success in winning matches. I soon realized I needed them more than they probably needed me. They mended a layer inside my giant hole.  I tried to be the best coach I knew how to be . . . but in the end, I needed them much more than they needed me. 

I am so grateful for the opportunity to have them in my life.